This quick guide is both scholarly and foolproof. Read on if you want to have the best Valentine’s Day of your miserable life.
If you are in:
Elementary School: Grab your construction paper and safety scissors, make your own cards. You can customize your cards specific to each classmate. Write things like, “Hey Mark I know you stole my glitter pen, so you have to let me steal your heart” and “Roses are red, violets are blue, this is my third year in the fifth grade.”
Middle School: Go to Dollarama during lunch break and pick up a bag of cupid lollies. Start your own candy-gram business and sell them cheaper than the school. Feel like Robin Hood, gain business experience, earn $$$
High School: No.
Whatever the Hell You’re Doing Now: If you’re in a relationship, an ideal date spot would be at an asylum. It will really help you tolerate each other more. If you’re single and you feel as if you have to be with someone on Valentine’s Day in order to be happy, smoke enough weed to hallucinate a different life.
Go on now.
Liliecup 